This is MY country, this is MY flag

We had friends over for dinner. The conversation very quickly turned to political and social issues. Pat, (not his real name), in an emotional outburst that is quite unlike him, said, “This year, we must all fly the national flag to celebrate National Day.”

I was a little surprised. Huh? The Singapore flag? Err…what’s the connection? Pat continued adamantly, “It is OUR flag, it does not represent any party, ruling party included. It represents Singapore and Singaporeans.”

Pat is absolutely right. In all our angst we must not lose sight of this fact. We are making “noise” not because we love to hear the sound of our own voice, but because we love our country. We feel for our countrymen.

There is no better time than this to remind ourselves of this. We are surrounded by foreigners. At any shopping mall, I feel outnumbered. At the hawker centres, I feel the food has lost its local flavour. In any office, I hear tagalog or heavily accented mandarin. Sue, Pat’s wife remarked that during lunch hour, the aroma of Indian curry fills the office because that’s the main nationality of the staff in that department, and they eat home packed lunches. When I pick up the call centre numbers, the voices on the other end often do not sound local.

I, we, need something to remind ourselves we are still in Singapore.

To add insult to injury, I see policies that disadvantage Singaporeans. I feel as if, we are children whose parents find lacking, and they are adopting many others to replace us.

I have seen more poor and needy, I hear of more people becoming homeless than ever. They are Singaporeans too.

To all our Ministers, MPs, NMPs, it is not which party you belong to that is of primary importance to us. It is whose interests you serve. You are Singaporeans before you are PAP members, WP members or whichever party you pledge allegiance to.

Never have the lyrics of this song meant so much to me.

 This is my country, this is my flag

This is my future, this is my life

This is my family, these are my friends

WE are Singapore, Singaporeans.

Fellow Singaporeans, will you fly the flag too? To remind those in power Singapore belongs to Singaporeans, and not to political parties or economic institutions.

If you are in agreement, spread the word to your friends. Let’s make a meaningful statement with our actions.

I have decided to add a few more words to my original post. I understand why many will choose not to fly the flag – and I hope our leaders can see the reasons. This way, they need not have to apologise as they did during GE 2011 about how they did not realise the anger on the ground. Go with your heart, and do not condemn each other for differing decisions.

Singapore: Talent No Enough, so say the Lees

In the run-up to GE 2011, PM Lee asserted on national television that a two-party system was not workable because there was not enough talent.

OnFriday, 22 July 2011, Mr Lee Kuan Yew said,

“… If Singapore depends on the talent they can produce out of 3 million people, it’s not going to punch above its weight,” Source: YahooNews.

Quoting YahooNews again, it implied that Mr Lee expressed the following:

Although there had been some “discomfort” among Singaporeans over the unequal competition for jobs, Mr Lee said that this “cannot be helped” because without foreign talent, there will not be any jobs to begin with.

In the last decade or so, my husband and I spent a lot of time abroad. The reason was simple. In order to make a living, he headed overseas – sometimes to very dangerous countries – such asIraq, immediately after the war. And no, he was not that well paid – but we needed the income.

On a happier note, almost every country we went to, the people there complimented Singapore, and expressed their aspirations to be like Singapore. In Africa especially, many saw Singapore as a model they would love follow. It made us so proud to be Singaporeans, and we often told them that while we had good governance, it is the people who should be praised, for without their diligence and submission to government, we would get nowhere. Every country I went, I often met with people from Ministry of Foreign Affairs, or representatives of IE Singapore or SCE (Singapore Cooperation Enterprise). These were there to sell Singapore expertise.

Hence, PM Lee’s statement truly offended me. Not enough talent to form two parties? How can a government, who wants our votes to continue ruling, slap us in the face like that? If after so many years of governance, we cannot find enough people to form two credible parties, then I say the government has failed!

I was somewhat mollified post election, especially when the PM himself apologized and made moves to amend some policies. The one of note was of course the review of ministerial salaries. By the way, this has been very quiet of late. In the meantime, other unpleasant events have surfaced – the unending escalation of housing prices, the impending fare hikes, the inefficiency of public transport, the lack of resolution over Ms Tin’s cooling off alleged transgression, the unnaturally high no. of corpses found…

Then Mr Lee Kuan Yew made these statements. I was bowled over. The man who told the residents of Aljunied GRC that they would “repent” their decision, used such a lackluster word like “discomfort” to describe the angst of the people, and made a superlative claim that there would be NO jobs without foreign talents.

My dear ministers, retired ministers, members of the ruling party, the people on the street are not feeling discomfort. They are feeling pain.

By saying that the pool we have is not able to produce enough talent, you are insulting your people.

Singapore got to where it is today because Singaporeans put nation before self, particularly in the formative years. Yes, we are immigrant stock, but we are stock that chose to stay. Think of the harsh land acquisitions that saw many gave up their land for national interest. Think of the hard work that the people put in to build the nation. Think about our boys going into national service. Think about how we swallowed COE, ERP, GST, with grumbling yes, but no civil disorder. Think of how Singaporeans subjected themselves to the laws of the land, including laws that made other countries laugh at us –anti-littering, anti-smoking, flushing of toilets… Why? The simple answer is that Singaporeans are willing to do whatever it takes for the good of our nation and her people. Singaporeans are painfully aware of the size of our country, its vulnerability. We are fiercely proud of what we have achieved. Sure we have good governance. Good governance without cooperative citizens would get still have gotten us nowhere. Now we are feeling that you are dismissing us and our anguish.

We boast an education system that is admired internationally. We sweep awards in Maths and Sc Olympiads. We win international awards for our airports. We are ranked amongst the world’s best in terms of shipping and logistics. We are the financial hub in SE Asia. We offer world class medical services. Yet we do not have enough talents? How can a country try to sell its only resource, people and their expertise overseas, if it does not have enough for herself?

My challenge to the ruling party is therefore to define talent. Is it intellectual talent? Professional talent? Creative talent? Sporting talent? Business talent? What talent are you talking about? Is the lack due to a smaller pool to select from? Are there no other factors?How long can a sports star continue to earn a good income? Can a musician really make a good living here? Can our local professional compete with a foreign talent in terms of salary?

How has the country encouraged and developed talents?

By the way, while we cannot control who runs international businesses with branches in Singapore, we should boost our locals by ensuring that local conglomerates are headed by Singaporeans. After all these years as a financial centre, it will be a real shame to still need to import foreign talent for these positions.

If we still feel the need to do so, we may as well import foreign talents to be in our cabinet – after all to quote Mr Lee Kuan Yew again:

“Let’s remove the foreign element first. There’s no better way to run the country than the best man for the most difficult job.”

 Mr Lee said that the toss up is faster growth with foreign talents or slower growth without. This leads to my next question, why do we chase economic success. Is it so that our GDP stands head and shoulders above the other countries? Is that what Singaporeans sacrificed for? Or is it for the well being of the people?

 

Social Workers, We need you – MCYS say one

MG Chan in his favourite pose

MG Chan says that attracting more social workers remains MCYS’ priority. You can watch the video clip here – CNA – more social workers needed. The recognition of this need is a good thing.

I will begin by summarising what was said.

1. There are 761 registered social workers inSingapore. Go figure what is the percentage compared with the population ofSingapore.
2. Mohd Fareez, 30 year old senior social worker said that there is difficulty retaining staff – they usually leave after a few years.
3. MCYS estimates a need for 60 social workers every year for the next five years.
4. No idea why they quoted MG Chan saying this: “We will put in place initiatives to encourage more structured supervision and mentoring programmes to facilitate the transmission of social work values and skills from one generation to the next” I am more interested to hear how he plans to attract more social workers rather than the continuation of the work.
5. Dr Kalyani Mehta, president of the Singapore Association of Social Workers (SASW) said that parental misgivings of the job being underpaid and overworked played a part. However, with international recognition of the work, the ghost of social worker past should be laid to rest.

There are several, no-brainer reasons why there is a lack in any profession – not just social work.

1. The salary. Our dear leaders talk so much about the dignity of a decent pay to attract talents to the cabinet. In the case of allied health professionals, the contrast in salaries can be especially stark, given the earning potentials of doctors. For a social worker, the starting pay is about $2500. (Source: http://www.ncss.org.sg/social_service_jobs/remuneration.asp.)

2. Advancement and promotion opportunities.

3. The job scope

4. Recognition by society

Let’s face it – if you are in it for the money, social work will not make you millionaires. However, there is a need to adequately compensate social workers. The nature of their job demands a huge emotional output that should be recognized in monetary terms.

To understand the nature of the job more, and their advancement opportunities, check the SASW website out. How many people can handle this sort of work day in day out? While Dr Kalyani tries to calm the parents and claims that the thinking of social worker as being overworked and underpaid is a thing of the past, the fact is there are only 761 registered social workers inSingapore. In a society that measures success by earnings, no matter what the good doctor says about international recognition, it ain’t gonna happen in Singapore – at least not yet.

I don’t know how MCYS can estimate a need of 60 more social workers a year for the next five years. All I know is that there have been more unnatural deaths in the last month than murders in an entire year in times past. I have never heard of more poor people, dysfunctional families and families in urgent financial need than currently.Singaporeis socially unwell, and we are in need of social workers.

MG Chan – it’s all and well to say MCYS need to attract and may I add, retain, social workers. The question is how?

I suggest that instead of dismissing the stereotype of the job, it is more important to acknowledge that social work is tough and not lucrative. Critically, we need to understand that more than any other professional, the social worker needs time out to regain emotional balance. They also need to be recognized as being in a noble profession. My unprofessional suggestion is therefore to:

1. Ensure adequate to generous remuneration – comparable to MOE salaries for teachers. MOE GEO1 salary. It may also be a good idea to offer bursaries and scholarships for undergraduates, the way MOE does.
2. Offer job rotation. The emotional burden is difficult to bear if one counsels people with problems day in day out. A change in job scope every now and then may take the brunt out. However, I am not a professional, so it is still up to the experts to decide the best way emotional stress can be alleviated.
3. Include some form of paid retreat – non-work based, or short vacation, as part of staff benefits.
4. After a fixed no of years of work – say 6 years, allow staff to go on sabbatical. This can take the form of further training. The idea is to get away from the routine of their work, and to chill and to retrain.
5. Encourage society to value social workers through some form of recognition.

In a university entrance interview, friends of my daughter answered the interviewers thus:

Why do you want to be a lawyer?  – Ans. I heard lawyers make lots of money.

Why do you want to a doctor? –  Ans. My parents want me to be a doctor.

Both got accepted. Salary and parental influence mattered a lot to the candidate. What is scary to me is that the interviewers accepted such answers without as much as a blink of the eye.

If we want people to take up “noble” positions, we need to change the way we value people. And it begins from the top.

Life with Fourth Aunt

I spent a year living with fourth aunt and her family. I was six years old then.

mum, sei yee, yee cheong and tong kor kor

Of all the aunts, I think mum was closest to fourth and sixth aunt – hardly surprising since she was no. 5. My aunts were real characters. Sixth aunt told me she ran away from home to pursue her own life and career, and only returned much later. I must ask my cousins the details when I next see them.

Fourth aunt married fairly early – as was the tradition then. According to my cousin from 2^ndaunt, fourth aunt was fierce, and she was terrified of her. To me, though, 4^th aunt was aloofly warm – if you can understand what I mean.

The thing I remember best about her was her fabulous cooking. Of all my aunts, I think sei yee (Cantonese for 4^th aunt) was the best and most natural cook. She worked magic with all her dishes. I remembered helping out in the kitchen, pounding spices with the pestle and mortar – and often shooed away from that post cos I was not strong enough to get the consistency she wanted. My eyes would tear from peeling shallots, my fingers would swell from being poked by prawn feelers, or burn from cutting chillies.

Sei yee worked every dish from scratch. Watching Australian Junior Masterchef, I wish I had the sense to pick up her cooking skills, rather than simply obeyed instructions like a brainless kitchen helper. I could have been a brilliant cook too!

The kitchen smelled divine, with the various curry pastes. Each meal took hours to prepare, and since we neither had gas nor electric stove, the kitchen was often smoky. The task I loved the best was fanning the coals till it burst into flame. I guess there is an arsonist in the soul of every child!

We owned no fridge, so going to the market was a daily affair. When I did not have school, it was quite fun to go with my aunt. It was always noisy and very happening with all sorts of stalls, from selling trinkets, to all manner of street food.

chickens in a basket for sale

Eating chicken was a treat, and whenever we bought chickens, sei yee would thrust her hand into a basket, grabbed a chicken and pressed at its ribs to test its fleshiness. Then the chicken seller would slit the throat, drained the blood into a bowl and threw the bird into a drum-like device. A few swirls later, a de-feathered chicken would appear. Such magic!

Of all my cousins living at home, I was closest to Ah Kuen jie jie. She was attached, but not yet married, and stayed home rather than worked outside. The two of us were sei yee’s main kitchen slaves.

One of my most vivid memories was when Ah Kuen jie jie was tasked to slaughter a chicken. Occasionally, we had one or two chickens in the backyard – either gifts from some visitors who reared them, or bought early for some festival, since the market would be closed during the time. In any case, my cousin was quite squeamish about slaughtering the chicken by herself – usually sei yee did that on her own. If I remember correctly, auntie was not home. My cousin simply could not bring herself to catch the chicken and slit its throat at the same time. My memory gets a little hazy here, cos it was a traumatic affair. I seem to recall one of us saying it was cruel to pin the chicken down and then kill it. We should let it have a chance to escape death (how ridiculous! As if sei yee would ever let it live!). So I vaguely recall ah Kuen jie jie running after the chicken a chopper in hand, both of us giggling hysterically. Somehow or other, she managed to chop the head off. But the chicken kept running round and round still. By that time my laughter had turned into terrified tears.

mum, ah yuet jie, 9th aunt, ah kuen jie, yee lin, ah hing jie, suet lin, chee chong, yee cheong, 1st uncle

I do remember my other cousins too. Ah Yuet jie jie was married, and always looked beautifully glamorous whenever she visited. Her husband played the Spanish guitar beautifully. Sometimes he would bring it with him, and I would just sit there and gawk. Ah Hing jie jie worked in a bank – and she drove a little car to work. She stayed at home but I barely saw her since she worked on the mainland, and spent most of the day away.

As for my male cousins, I remember the youngest one the best. He was in secondary school and very athletic. He spent a lot of time playing with the neighbourhood boys. Sometimes my auntie would get so exasperated at his disappearance that she would go in search of him, cane in hand. When she spotted him, she would first shout, then prepared to hit. Ah Tong kor kor was an athlete, and many a time I would see him run in the front door, and out the back, with my slightly portly, not too young auntie huffing and puffing after him. Ah Kuen jie and I would stifle our giggles for fear of turning sei yee’s wrath on us instead!

Yummy Penang Char Kuay Teow

Sei yee taught me to be independent. At six, I was often tasked to go to the shops, on my own, to buy things she needed. I had to buy spices, or bread, or even to buy coffee from the nearby shops. She made sure that there was no crossing of road, since the road in front of the house was very busy. The sar hor fun and char kuay teow stalls however were across the road. So whenever she wanted to buy those, I had to walk till I was immediately across the road from the stall. Then I had to shout my orders at the hawkers. If you find my voice loud, you now know the reason why! Still, I was too young to be embarrassed, and the yumminess of the food made me quite eager to obey actually.

Living with sei yee was a blast. I just saw some of her children when I went up toPenanglast week. It brought back so many memories.

I may not be rich or famous, but I certainly had a varied and interesting life.

Can the poor afford concessionary rates?

Scanning through the papers online – look I need to save money somehow, and buying newspapers costs me both space and money, I was not sure what made me more upset. There were reports of maid abuse and a maid going berserk and slashing her charge. And then there was the very loud hint that fares will be going up. Transport operators seek fare increases. The first sentence reads: COMMUTERS should brace themselves for a possible hike in bus and train fares. Straits Times online as usual only gave a truncated article. Naturally, I went to check out TodayOnline – Todayonline on fare increases with the sub heading declaring GPC chairman to ask Transport Ministry to review fare adjustment formula

I only have time to rant about one thing this week – I am off to Penang soon! I choose to rant about public transport fares.

I do not leave my home much. So fare increases hardly affect me. Hence this is definitely not something I am writing because I am personally afflicted. When I read about the potential fare increases, what made me sick in the stomach is the typical profit-centred argument used to justify the action. Coming so soon after what DPM Tharman Shanmugaratnam said regarding health matters Government turning to private sector for healthcare, (the hint that private consultants can earn up to $5mill while doctors in government-owned hospitals earn $800k, is definitely significant), I am wondering what the next non-populist, pro-profit announcement will be.

Coming back to fares, take a look at the transit link website.

1. Check the fares for cash vs card. The difference is approximately 30 cents per trip.
2. Tertiary students concessionary cards, for unlimited bus fare and 4 train rides a day cost $97, Primary School students cost $42.50 and Junior College/ITE students $52.50.
3. For Senior Citizen concessionary cards, there is a personalization fee of $3 plus a stored travel value of $10.
4. To activate a stored value card, there is a minimum stored value of $10.

Obviously, the very least a commuter can do is to have a stored value card. The savings of 30 cents per trip, not to mention the savings if there are transfers can be very significant, especially to the poor. So when one of my social worker friends was telling me about her clients not using stored value cards, I was perplexed. It made no sense to me. She looked me in the eye and in a quiet voice said, “My clients cannot afford the stored value cards. To them, they live from hand to mouth – and they do not have $10 to activate the card. That is why some of them cannot accept jobs unless these are within walking distance from their flats.”

It was chilling to note that to qualify for concession demands having some money – money that is insignificant to many, but money that the destitute cannot afford. Even for those who can afford the basic stored value card, I cannot imagine it is easy to afford the student concessionary cards. Are we penalizing those who need the help most by using this method?

In fact, my children tell me that if you do not travel enough, the student concessionary cards make no sense, and can be more expensive than pay per travel via stored value cards. Thank goodness they know how to count, for by the very term, concessionary cards, many expect savings, and will not do the math.

This is BEFORE fare hikes kick in. I dread to think what happens when the fares go up.

I can go on about the need, or not, for fare hikes, I can grumble about profit driven culture that is so pervasive in Singapore. I can rage that transport companies are definitely still profitable enough to stave off the increase. But I won’t. I will leave that to the more number-savvy netizens. The following extract from todayonline is a good read though.

SMRT’s net profit dropped 1.1 per cent to S$161.1 million for the year to March 31 as staff, energy and operating costs rose.

Meanwhile, SBS Transit’s net profit for the full year ending December 31 last year was S$54.3 million, down a marginal 0.6 per cent from the year before.

Compare the dip in profit to the proposed increase

Public transport operators SBS Transit and SMRT have applied for the maximum fare increase of 2.8 per cent for rail and bus fares, citing “uncontrollable” and “significant” cost pressures but a more fundamental review may be on the cards.

I am not going to ask for subsidies for the poor, nor even increased welfare cheques. Money given to the poor will be immediately spent to pay outstanding bills, while transport blues will be shelved for another day. I wonder whether a better option is to give away stored value cards with the minimum travel value in place to the destitute. I also believe that student concessionary cards need a review, for certainly to take out tens of dollars in advance may not make sense, especially if there is not much savings.

Please make concessionary rates available to those who need them most!

The Fun Pack Cringe

The Fun Pack Song – the latest cringelogy (from the word “cringe” device?

There were so many incidents of cringelogy. There was the “Oh yeah, oh yeah…hey!” Youth Olympic Song. (You are the One Singapore) How creative was that! Of course the ultimate in cringelogy was the Upturn the Downturn song. Now we nearly have an NDP song about the *drumroll*  - Funpack!!

The organizers said something about being creative and lighthearted. If this is the showcase of creativity then we are in serious trouble. As for lightheartedness – does being the laughing stock count?

Even if we can find some excuse to pull the song back, it’s a little late. By now the rehearsal has been “youtubed”. Funpack Song with the lyrics at the end of the article here. the original youtube rendition has been removed, Some creative netizen has kindly made an animated version and has improved it tremendously. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQXDqjYnN5I&feature=player_embedded#at=82

We do have good musicians inSingapore. Get them to write the songs. You want lighthearted – a lyricist comes to mind – Mr Brown. Now he is a creative one.

It worries me that for such an important national event, the organizers cannot identify what will put off. The instant I played the song, my children went “EEEEwwww!” Surely those participating can hear it for what it is? Puke –ology? Are they like the rest of Singapore– too afraid to speak what they really feel? Or are the decision-makers like some of our esteemed leaders – disagreement equals noise or stones? This song should never have hit performance or the airwaves.

If we cannot first hear justified criticism, then the next step of suggesting will be curtailed.  After all, how will you recognize the need of a suggestion, if everything is ok?

Kee chiew if you agree.

Sigh!

Funpack song lyrics

Lyrics of “Fun Pack Song”
By: Haresh Sharma

Oh o o o o o o o o
Time for the fun pack song
Oh o o o o o o o o
We like the fun pack song

Let’s start with the bag
That’s right, grab your bag
It’s the fun pack bag
Attack the fun pack

(REPEAT)

Hold up your flag, don’t you forget
You can wave it if you feel like it
Let’s wave the flag
Wave wave wave
Let’s wave the flag
Take out your light stick, it’s two of a kind
It’s interactive, means you can join
Just pretend
Oh oh oh… It’s a disco

(SPOKEN)

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want a wet, wet tissue

I want Newater and I want a cold drink
You and me, let’s share a bit
I want a biscuit and I want a sweet
You and me, let’s share this treat

Kopi-O o o o o o o o o
Time for the fun pack song
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o
We like the fun pack song

Let’s start with the bag
That’s right, grab your bag
It’s the fun pack bag
Attack the fun pack

I want Newater and I want a cold drink
You and me, let’s share a bit
I want a biscuit and I want a sweet
You and me, let’s share this treat

Kopi-O o o o o o o o o
Time for the fun pack song
Kopi-O o o o o o o o o
We like the fun pack song

Let’s start with the bag
That’s right, grab your bag
It’s the fun pack bag
Attack the fun pack!

PS

Check out MrBrown’s version of the You are the One Singapore

You are the One Singapore, version 3

If you are still not convinced of his creative genius, check these out

Tribute to ERP

Oh Army

pokai face

Excuse me, did the Prime Minister just say sorry?

Excuse me, did the Prime Minister just say sorry? – This was first published in TOC – am archiving it here.

For the longest time, I never understood why members of the ruling party never seemed to ever, EVER say sorry. I mean, I heard complaints about how there was no lift upgrading, about how salaries were so low, low, low but cost of living was so high, high, high. I heard complaints about expensive housing. But none of the leaders of the country ever apologized.

I still remember how SM Goh responded to rising housing costs. He did not apologise, he set out to confuse us with his theory.

“Those who missed out, those who can’t buy this, who can’t upgrade and so on, so we are really feeling the unhappiness, question is was the policy good? 

“Unhappiness, those who are happier, in total there’s net happiness, there’s no such thing called total happiness, don’t believe in it. It’s whether we create net happiness in all this,” said SM Goh.

 

Then it occurred to me. Remember the old movie starring Ali MacGraw? The title of the movie is “Love Story”. The story tells us that “love means NEVER having to say you are sorry!”

 

That’s it then. They didn’t say sorry cos they loved us. It was such a eureka moment. Then on national television, no less, my Prime Minister said sorry. He even sounded like he meant it. Rats! How was I going to reconcile this? Did it mean he did not love me, us any more?

I drew consolation from the title of Elton John’s song. “Sorry seems to be the hardest word.” Yes I believed in what the media, especially the entertainment media told me. Surely all these apologies would stop.

Horrors, it not only did not stop, PM apologized more than once, and so did a host of other ministers and MPs.

I tried to find some other examples to cling on to…I did not want to be unloved – that would be too painful. Then I found some credible examples.

Remember Tin PeiLing? When the people complained about her, SM Goh did not apologise. Instead he told her to ignore the noise! Yes! Instead of saying sorry, insult the offended. Somehow, the rest of Singapore did not seem to feel love, and instead got so riled that they demanded her resignation from parliament. Why did they not respond positively to so much love??

Perhaps I could find love in Tin Pei Ling? She has not apologized for anything yet, including what many felt was criminal behaviour – someone reported her to the police, you only report criminals to the police right? Maybe she represented the best of love. She cleverly ignored all the noise and simply refused responsibility. Again my fellow citizens seemed to disagree, and even organized a Black Sunday to protest the entire fiasco.

Then I found yet another glimmer of hope in the shape of the good doctor Lim Wee Kiak. My fellow citizens were very upset about his statement regarding dignity and money. I held my breath to see his reaction. He did not apologise. Instead he said that he was misquoted. Phew – he did the right thing. He claimed to be a victim. But nobody seemed appeased. So he said he was only joking. Not bad – he blamed us for not being too thick to get the joke. But ultimately he succumbed and apologized! Shucks.

Finally I was alerted to Mah Bow Tan’s apology. I was horrified. This was the last bastion of defense. Mr Mah had never waivered ever before. I thought my world was about to collapse around me. I am simple minded – I need to have some constants in my life – one of which is MIW never say sorry. Then I tried to make sense of his statement.

“… And I guess to the extent that in the last couple of years, housing prices went up very sharply, coinciding with the very dramatic turnaround in the economy. Yeah, I guess…. that resulted in a lot of unhappiness on the ground and I accept responsibility for that.”

Bear with me, I am not very smart. I need to break this “cheem” statement into smaller parts.

1. housing is becoming expensive – unhappiness
2. price increase is due to improvement in economy = happiness
3. people are unhappy because of price increase = unhappiness.

I tried to apply SM Goh’s equation – but since I had no numbers, and there was unhappiness as well as happiness, I was not sure if there was net happiness or net unhappiness. So I tried English instead – I am slightly better at English than Maths.

He said he was “taking responsibility for that”. My teacher told me “that” is a pointing word. So was he taking responsibility for unhappiness? Cannot be since unhappiness, he said, was the result of price increase. I got it. He was taking responsibility for the price increase. Hmm, that couldn’t be right. He also said the price increase was due to the improvement in the economy!! Hallelujah. He was not apologizing at all – he was taking glory for the improvement in economy! Wow. Should I feel loved?

Unfortunately, the ministers, who did not seem to say sorry, had retired. The MP who had not said sorry seemed to be in danger of being kicked out. On the other hand, the Prime Minister, who not only kept apologizing, but actually appeared to be doing something about the complaints, was gaining popularity.

Since I have been told that as a weak-brained heartlander, I should get away from the faces and residences of uncaring elites, I can only look to the most elite of them all – my Prime Minister, for an answer. If he keeps saying sorry, and if he says he will make sure that no Singaporean will be left behind – meaning he cares?? then maybe love does mean you have to say sorry and take action to rectify wrongs. And sorry is not the hardest word after all!

Help – I have been conned by the media!!

Did you learn how not to apologise?

 

1. confuse
2. insult the offended
3. refuse to accept responsibility
4. claim to be a victim
5. blame the offended for not getting it
6. give a convoluted apology that made you a hero in the end.

 

How to apologise properly?

 

1. Recognise the cause of offence.
2. Apologise without excuses.
3. Take action to make improvement.

 

LHL and some members of his team seem to be on the right track. Let us be gracious and give them  time to prove their sincerity

Ms Tin in the news AGAIN

I was reluctant to write this post. Why should I even bother to add to the howls online?

Elections are over, and whether we like it or not, Ms Tin is now an MP. She certainly made a very poor first impression when PAP was trying to show off their trump card – the youngest candidate fielded ever. I, for one, was keen to see who this candidate was– female candidate, no less. As I listened to her, I felt sorry for her. How could the ruling party, with the wealth of experience behind them, not prepare her for a very important first appearance? The excuse that she was young and inexperienced was scoffed at, and confirmed when Nicole Seah – even younger than Ms Tin, was introduced. The contrast was stark.

Now I can understand the need to improve her image. She may even have employed a PR consultant – that is mere speculation, and I really do not care either way. However, this frequent reporting by ST does her no good.

18 April 2011 straitstimes – TPL takes online criticism in her stride

28 May 2011 straitstimes – TPL and HDB income ceiling

24 June 2011 straitstimes – TPL and the DBSS saga

4 July 2011 straitstimes – MacPherson warming up to me – TPL

Why these reports? My suspicion is the first is an attempt to show her poise and maturity. The second and third try to show she cares and thinks through policies, the last that she is finally making a good impression. For the pap supporters, and for those who cannot “stand” the way netizens bully this young, inexperienced candidate, perhaps the strategy has worked. However, you do not need to win over people who are already supportive. The aim is to sway those who are opposed to Ms Tin. For these, these reports have quite the opposite effect.

From comments online, not necessarily my opinion:

First article – Ms Tin is thick skinned

Second and third articles – Ms Tin has no originality and has regurgitated what netizens or KBW have already said. Besides, she said all policies are working and do not require change?

Fourth article – goodness – how is this newsworthy if it is said by Ms Tin herself? If a poll were conducted, then maybe, just maybe, it might be credible.

You know how hard sell makes one cringe? This is exactly what is happening here.

If Ms Tin and the powers that be are really interested in changing attitudes towards her, one thing has to be addressed.-the outcome of the Cooling Day controversy. Unless there is a satisfactory conclusion, nothing will appease, no matter how hard Ms Tin tries. After that, Ms Tin should quietly serve her constituency, and let the results speak for themselves.

Until then, such reporting by Straits Times, especially when one compares with the coverage today of straitstime – Sylvia Lim likely to go into Law Practice and its loaded first line… “LESS than two months after resigning from Temasek Polytechnic (TP) where she lectured in law, Workers’ Party (WP) chairman Sylvia Lim has taken steps to re-enter the legal sector.” does not put ST in a good light for unbiased reporting.

Remember the Sabbath – You know what it’s like to be a foreigner…

Don’t take advantage of a stranger. You know what it’s like to be a stranger; you were strangers in Egypt. Exodus 23:9

My husband and I understand what it feels like to be a foreigner. For years, Alan had to work overseas. Some years, he travelled a lot. Other years, he was posted overseas. Local companies tend not to give a family package, so often he had to stay alone for months on end in a foreign land. In the last position, because the children were old enough, I went over to join him. We were in Rwanda, where there were very, very few Singaporeans – probably less than 10 at best, and currently probably less than 5.

While we made some really good friends, there was always a hunger for things local – even someone speaking Singlish was a welcome change. Whenever Singaporeans came over for a trade mission, we were sure to meet up. For us, even though internet connections were not the best, we could still chat with the children. When the going got too tough, Alan took leave, paid for our air tickets and came home. At least we had some options.

The foreign domestic worker has no such option. She cannot afford to fly home, no matter how homesick, unless the contract is up. Her well-being is really dependent on the goodwill of her employer.

I hear the concerns of the employers – and I know for a fact that they are not unjustified. I also like the comment of one of my friends. He said “most people are not psychologically and emotionally equipped to be employers” and “we try to equip the maids with various skills, but do we also at the same time also equip employers with HR skills”. Another said this, “Seeing each other all the time can be very grating. Not only does the maid need an off day (as a human being, she also has her social needs and hanging out with us all the time probably isn’t going to cut it!), we also need our private time as a family”

Let me get the security bond issue out of the way first. In actuality, unless you allow or worse still, profit from deploying your maid to work at other places, this is a non-issue. Most employers buy insurance on the bond, and in the event the maid really runs off, you are out of pocket by $250. Unfortunately, many employers do not really believe that this is true, and worries about all manner of penalty. Employer education is necessary here.

I have had maids for many, many years. I do not have one now. I daresay that I have learnt many things along the way. I am by no means a model employer – but I have learnt to cope. It is necessary to treat your maids well. If you don’t, the more vulnerable in your family may bear the brunt. Besides, a happy maid makes for a much happier environment.

Julie worked with me for quite a long time. When Julie first came, she was extremely unsure of herself, and very timid. When I employed her, I was already in my forties – so my on the ground training in HR skills to manage my home must have improved. I am going to share what I did. Every household is different – but I think the principles can be applied.

1. Define duties – not hours. The total time spent on such chores should be reasonable. Julie had to be made clear what work had to be accomplished weekly. Initially, it was necessary to help her organize her work and prioritise duties. Eventually, she was free to shift chores around to suit her own preferences – such as perhaps she might prefer to iron at night. As long as chores were completed, it did not matter to me if she took an afternoon nap.
2. Ensure at least 8 hours of uninterrupted rest in the evening. This is critical as much for your sake as for the maid’s. Especially if she is alone to take care of infants or the elderly in the day, the lack of sleep could result in major accidents or abuse. Occasionally, she might have to wake up, say to accompany the child to the toilet. However, being woken up every two hours or less for feeding or cleaning will cause fatigue and may result in dire consequences. When my children were babies, feeding was my job – and my husband and I would be the ones caring for the infants in the night. It was not easy – but nothing about being new parents is easy. On the odd occasion that the maid had to stay up, we tried to ensure she had time to rest in the day.
3. Be a concerned employer, not an autocratic lawman. One of the first things I told Julie was my interest in her welfare. I warned her about maids being cheated. I warned her about the perils of having relationships. I told her that I was not her mother. Even mothers can only teach and advice. Her life was her own. However, if she broke the rules, then her job and her stay in Singapore was at stake. We as employers must understand that we are not prison wardens. We are not policemen. We ARE merely EMPLOYERS.
4. Remember the Sabbath. We need space from each other. Julie needed to spend some time with her own people. For me, when the maid is new, I hesitate to let her out alone. Over the years, I have come to know some Filipina maids I trust. In the first few weeks, Julie was allowed out, but only in the company of a maid and friend of mine – Margie. After a while, Julie told me she was not that comfortable with Margie’s church. By then, I knew Julie better, and though I could trust her, I also knew she was too naïve and too fearful to venture out on her own. So I brought her to my church – first to service with me. Eventually, she made friends with the Filipinas, and joined the Filipina service.

   Julie opted for two days off a month, if I remember correctly. However, she was allowed to go to church every week. Day off meant she could go out with her friends after church. For us, Sabbath is Sabbath. . Even if she did not go out, she was allowed to do her own thing, and no chores were given. Sometimes we did ask her to cook simple meals, but that was pretty much it. If we had to entertain, she was warned beforehand. She was then allowed to go out or rest on another day of the week. Julie herself was quite a homebody and preferred to stay at home. In so doing, she saved the most money of all the maids in my employ.

I hear the cries of the employers who complain they cannot do without their maids on Sundays. Why? There are the odd occasions when this might be the case – such as if both parents are out of town or there are emergency duties at the office. Special arrangements can be made. This cannot be true every Sunday. All of us need a break from our routine work. If you do not look after your children in the week, because you are at work, then looking after them on Sunday is not your routine work – and should be looked forward to as family time. If they misbehave constantly, then I am afraid you cannot demand the maid to take them away from you – you need to examine your parenting skills. Think too that if the children frustrate you when you handle them once a week, what is the effect on the maid?  If If Sunday is your regular work day, then give the maid a day of rest on a weekday

I have had my share of problems with maids. One such was the daughter of my Indonesian maid. She was very young, and without her mother’s knowledge applied to work in Singapore. One day, I heard whispering from my maid’s room. I was shocked to see the young lady in there with In. In told me that her daughter had run away from a family who ill-treated her. Like a fool, I swallowed the story. My family and I went to the household she ran away from. The old lady was Indonesian and was here with a few of her grandsons, who were studying in Singapore. She seemed quite kindly, but still, I thought In’s daughter was telling the truth. I took pity on her because she was so young and persuaded my mother-in-law, who did not really need a maid, to take her in. She was not allowed out, except once a week to my house – to help her mother. Actually it was just to give them an excuse for mother-daughter time.

One night, coming back from a meeting, my mother-in-law called me urgently. The girl had run away with her luggage. I called In, then rushed down to mum’s house. Past midnight, she came back, luggage and all, and tried to get in via the back gate. Apparently, when we kindly allowed her to go to bed by about 8 pm, she would wait till my in-laws were engrossed with the tv or other activities, to sneak out the back door. She had met a Pakistani or Indian, who promised to marry her and run away with her. He stood her up. When we opened her bag, she had stolen from my in-laws. I had missing jewellery too which were never found. This girl had no day off – but she managed to get herself into trouble.

We are not able to control what happens to the workers in our midst. They make their choices. Like my friend said, “As for whether the maid gets up to no good when off? Well, she can be up to no good if you leave her alone at home and go out or go to work”. They need to know that their jobs are at stake if they cross certain boundaries. They stand to lose much.

Is legislation of a day off necessary? Do we need the law to force us to treat maids humanely? Are we so moulded by our FINE city that we behave kindly only out of fear? The answer to the last two questions will give the answer to the first.

In fact, if the answer to the last two questions is “yes” then legislation will be abused anyway.